Letting go isn't easy, and I have found this recently. After
four years loving the same person and giving them all my time and care, they
threw it back in my face and gave me up. Our relationship had its ups and downs
like everyone and there were arguments. I have always thought you should worry
only if there are no arguments as that means neither of you care enough. But
our relationship could have easily been fixed. What it comes down to is CHANGE.
He changed; his life had changed, with his new company and new goals, so that
was that, he made a choice because he felt he had to. In hindsight he didn't have
to choose, as I would never have made him. But that was that.. and before I knew it, he
had dropped me completely out of his life. I know break-ups are hard, I have
heard stories, seen people been through them, and even been through them
myself, but this was/is different because I have never seen someone change like
he did. All his emotions went, and I still don’t fully understand why or how
any of this happened. I can’t beat myself up any longer wondering how or why,
because sometimes in life you have to let go, you have to let that person go,
not just for them to set them free, but for yourself too, so that you can be
free and find yourself again.
The hardest part of letting go is knowing that you have gone
back, gone back to strangers with that person who knew everything about you.
You build a life with someone, a future, full of dreams and wishes and you just
assume it will happen and come true, because you trust them to never leave. I
am naive anyway, but when I am in a relationship I give my all, that person
becomes my best friend and soul mate. I should probably not make the same
mistake again, but that’s who I am. It’s hard having to lock away years of
memories. It’s scary thinking you might never see or speak to them again or
that they might move on and whatever you had with them, they will now have with
someone else. Maybe even you might have it with someone else… and that hurts.
I am not even sure if it’s possible to let go of something
in life 100% surely part of you will always keep a tiny bit of that person in
your heart, you just have to let go of hope, and start again.
I think letting go is more about having faith, faith in
yourself that you will be okay and that you are ready to try at being okay.
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